Jan. 17th, 2009

[identity profile] hbic-cuddy.livejournal.com

Cuddy sat in the chair on the side of the living room, running her fingers over a thin envelope resting in her lap. A table lamp provided the only illumination but that was all she wanted at the moment. It was silent, no tv, no radio, nothing but the sound of her own breathing in her ears.

She picked up the envelope, turning it over and over in her hands. Inside was a paternity affidavit, the one she'd had prepared for House. All it needed was his signature to legally establish his relationship to the baby. Her plan had been to take it to him and then let him decide when he was ready to sign. He'd said he was going to sign it and she believed him...mostly. But she knew well enough that when it came right down to making a legally binding, long term committment like that, he just might have an attack of cold feet. House wasn't exactly a 'long term' or 'legally binding' kind of guy. When it came to her relationship with him, she could live with that. It wasn't ideal but she knew it didn't mean he didn't love her. It was just his way.

For the baby, though, she wanted that committment from him. She wanted their child to grow up knowing that his or her daddy had made a promise to be a daddy. This certainly wasn't going to be the first kid to have unmarried parents and she didn't think that should necessarily have a negative impact. But she didn't want the kid to feel unwanted because his parents weren't married and his daddy wasn't willing to legally take responsibility.

Unfortunately, her plan had gone slightly awry...which was not entirely surprising when it came to House. She just hadn't expected it to take this particular detour. She'd taken the elevator to the fourth floor that afternoon with the intention of delivering the affidavit to House. Just as she'd stepped out of the elevator, though, she'd spotted a familiar figure entering House's office. Stacy. Of all the people.... Cuddy had been torn between barging in and running away. It would've been simple enough to interrupt them, give Stacy a big smile, pretend to be happy to see her, and--most importantly--do her best to prevent the two of them from being alone together. After a few moment's hesitation, she'd turned around and taken the elevator back to the first floor where she'd shut herself up in her office for the remainder of the afternoon.

She laid the envelope flat in her lap again. She didn't know what to think of Stacy visiting House. She didn't know what to think about her response to it. She told herself she'd left without them seeing her because she had to trust House to not betray her. She was afraid, though, that she'd really left because she didn't think she could stand to see them together. She wouldn't have been able to stand it if she had to see the way they looked at each other, the way they seem to be physically drawn to each other. And now her anxiety was at peak level because she didn't know how they'd acted with each other because she'd been too afraid to see. And if that wasn't enough self-defeating ambiguity on her part, now she was sitting alone in a silent room because she wasn't sure if she wanted House to come home or go to  his place for the evening.

Which was why she tensed at the sound of the front door.

October 2010

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