House snorted quietly, a slight smile tugging on the corners of his lips. "I wish," he replied just as softly. "Might make staying here more fun."
Sex had been the last thing on is mind for the past week, but sex wasn't the only part of their relationship. He missed Cuddy, too. He missed her touch and her kisses and her scent and her presence. There were so many things he missed. He even missed himself, even though he was with himself. The whole week had been such a jolting change, so surreal, coupled with the haze of new medication, that he felt like he'd lost himself somewhere in amongst all of it. Then again, he'd been feeling that way for a long while now, if he was honest with himself. For years he'd been feeling that way. But only since coming to Mayfield did he actually realise it because he really had hit rock bottom.
He let out a quiet breath and looked down, releasing his arm around Cuddy to run his hand down her arm. "Gets pretty lonely in here," he told her with a humourless quirk of his lips. "Even though there are nutjobs and trolls everywhere."
He moved his hand to her belly and lightly rubbed her bump, then lifted his hand back to her shoulder and met her eyes. "I'd swap all of this to spend a day fighting with you any day." He gave her a weary smirk, but then sobered.
"I don't know how things got like this," he admitted, murmuring and glancing away across at the grounds. "I don't just mean us. I mean... me. I was coping, I was... trying to cope. I thought I was getting better. I thought I was okay."
He swallowed and looked the other way. One of the 'trolls' was wandering by on the path and House waited until the nurse was out of earshot before he continued, his voice still low and now a little unsteady. "I'm not okay. I'm... I'm scared." He glanced away uneasily but then turned back to her again. "What if I can't pull through this? What if this takes years? What if...?" His voice broke ever so slightly. "What if I can't do this?"
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Sex had been the last thing on is mind for the past week, but sex wasn't the only part of their relationship. He missed Cuddy, too. He missed her touch and her kisses and her scent and her presence. There were so many things he missed. He even missed himself, even though he was with himself. The whole week had been such a jolting change, so surreal, coupled with the haze of new medication, that he felt like he'd lost himself somewhere in amongst all of it. Then again, he'd been feeling that way for a long while now, if he was honest with himself. For years he'd been feeling that way. But only since coming to Mayfield did he actually realise it because he really had hit rock bottom.
He let out a quiet breath and looked down, releasing his arm around Cuddy to run his hand down her arm. "Gets pretty lonely in here," he told her with a humourless quirk of his lips. "Even though there are nutjobs and trolls everywhere."
He moved his hand to her belly and lightly rubbed her bump, then lifted his hand back to her shoulder and met her eyes. "I'd swap all of this to spend a day fighting with you any day." He gave her a weary smirk, but then sobered.
"I don't know how things got like this," he admitted, murmuring and glancing away across at the grounds. "I don't just mean us. I mean... me. I was coping, I was... trying to cope. I thought I was getting better. I thought I was okay."
He swallowed and looked the other way. One of the 'trolls' was wandering by on the path and House waited until the nurse was out of earshot before he continued, his voice still low and now a little unsteady. "I'm not okay. I'm... I'm scared." He glanced away uneasily but then turned back to her again. "What if I can't pull through this? What if this takes years? What if...?" His voice broke ever so slightly. "What if I can't do this?"