House watched Cuddy with a hard expression. His heart was thumping a little faster and his throat felt a little tighter, and he was determined to hold back whatever was building inside him. But as Cuddy explained herself and explained what she was thinking, his expression faltered. He swallowed thickly and looked down as she sat back with a shaky sigh. He was silent by the time Cuddy finished talking.
Megan was looking between Cuddy and House the whole time and she observed the change in House's composure. She waited for him to respond. "Greg?" she prompted. "What do you think about what Lisa just said?"
He still stayed silent for a few moments. He was trying to sort through his thoughts but it was hard when the feeling inside him was slowly building in pressure, making his throat feel even tighter and his chest to feel constricted.
"Greg?" Megan prompted again gently.
He looked at her, then at Cuddy. "I'm trying to believe this will work, too," he said. "I know what I'm like. The reason I chose to come here is because I know what I'm like."
Megan waited again for House to continue. When he didn't, she asked, "And what are you like, Greg?"
"Destructive," he snapped at Megan. "Miserable. Stubborn. I push people away. I'll do everything it takes to shut people out."
"Even someone you love?"
"I've done it once before. Pushed someone I loved away until she left me."
Megan nodded. "Are you afraid you'll do the same to Lisa?"
"I already have," he replied sharply, his voice a little louder.
"Why do you think that?"
He gestured to Cuddy with an anguished throw of his hand. "Do you think she'd be telling me she's scared to death of losing me if she didn't already feel like I was pushing her away? She doesn't even believe this is going to work, that me being in here is going to work."
"It sounds like you don't believe that, either," she pointed out. "If you don't have faith that you can pull through this, why should Lisa believe you when you tell her not to doubt you?"
House stared at Megan. He tried to think of an answer but he realised she'd led him right into a dead end. He licked his lips and looked down, then shook his head. "I don't know," he murmured.
Megan leaned forward. She stretched a hand out and laid it on his knee to get him to look at her. When he did, she drew her hand away again. "You may not like hearing this but Lisa is right. The only enemy you have is yourself. I'm not your enemy; I'm on your side. Lisa is on your side, too. Have you thought that maybe the reason she tells you these things isn't because she's doubting you, but because she's on your side?"
She nodded towards Cuddy. "In fact, it sounds to me like Lisa has a lot of faith in you. I'm pretty sure that if she didn't have faith in you, she wouldn't be sitting here, telling you that she's afraid of losing you."
"How is that faith?" House shot back.
"It's faith, Greg, because she hasn't given up on you." She looked over at Cuddy with a prompting look, giving Cuddy the chance to voice anything she might want to say.
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Megan was looking between Cuddy and House the whole time and she observed the change in House's composure. She waited for him to respond. "Greg?" she prompted. "What do you think about what Lisa just said?"
He still stayed silent for a few moments. He was trying to sort through his thoughts but it was hard when the feeling inside him was slowly building in pressure, making his throat feel even tighter and his chest to feel constricted.
"Greg?" Megan prompted again gently.
He looked at her, then at Cuddy. "I'm trying to believe this will work, too," he said. "I know what I'm like. The reason I chose to come here is because I know what I'm like."
Megan waited again for House to continue. When he didn't, she asked, "And what are you like, Greg?"
"Destructive," he snapped at Megan. "Miserable. Stubborn. I push people away. I'll do everything it takes to shut people out."
"Even someone you love?"
"I've done it once before. Pushed someone I loved away until she left me."
Megan nodded. "Are you afraid you'll do the same to Lisa?"
"I already have," he replied sharply, his voice a little louder.
"Why do you think that?"
He gestured to Cuddy with an anguished throw of his hand. "Do you think she'd be telling me she's scared to death of losing me if she didn't already feel like I was pushing her away? She doesn't even believe this is going to work, that me being in here is going to work."
"It sounds like you don't believe that, either," she pointed out. "If you don't have faith that you can pull through this, why should Lisa believe you when you tell her not to doubt you?"
House stared at Megan. He tried to think of an answer but he realised she'd led him right into a dead end. He licked his lips and looked down, then shook his head. "I don't know," he murmured.
Megan leaned forward. She stretched a hand out and laid it on his knee to get him to look at her. When he did, she drew her hand away again. "You may not like hearing this but Lisa is right. The only enemy you have is yourself. I'm not your enemy; I'm on your side. Lisa is on your side, too. Have you thought that maybe the reason she tells you these things isn't because she's doubting you, but because she's on your side?"
She nodded towards Cuddy. "In fact, it sounds to me like Lisa has a lot of faith in you. I'm pretty sure that if she didn't have faith in you, she wouldn't be sitting here, telling you that she's afraid of losing you."
"How is that faith?" House shot back.
"It's faith, Greg, because she hasn't given up on you." She looked over at Cuddy with a prompting look, giving Cuddy the chance to voice anything she might want to say.