cuddys_house | Morning, October 26, Corfu

Morning, October 26, Corfu

Cuddy stirred, rolling to her other side and burying her head in her pillow. Although there was plenty of morning sunlight streaming through the sheer curtains on the balcony doors, she was abdicating her role as the early bird in the relationship. Actually, she'd been doing that a lot on their trip, and what was really surprising was that she didn't feel the least bit guilty about it. House was clearly having a bad influence over her. She shifted position just a touch, trying to fall asleep again. Unfortunately, her bladder had other ideas. She grimaced, her face half smushed in the pillow, but there was no denying a full bladder. Not without unpleasant results.

She slipped out of bed as stealthily as she could. House was sprawled on the other side of the bed and, as far as she could tell, still deeply asleep. She made her way to the bathroom, shivering when her bare ass made contact with the cold porcelain of the toilet. The cool morning air would be refreshing if she were actually interested in getting up. Cold porcelain when all she really wanted to do was go back to sleep was an unwelcome shock. Still, there was a definite sense of relief when her bladder was empty, and she quickly washed her hands, intent on going straight back to bed and curling up next to House.

As she exited the bathroom, her eye was caught by the view of the sea. She made her way over and opened the balcony door just enough to look out. She stood there a moment in nothing but a thin nightie, soaking in the view...which was damn near perfect. In fact, in the short time they'd been on the island, everything had been damn near perfect: the views, the food, the weather, even the hotel. She'd enjoyed everything they'd seen, everywhere they'd been so far, but there was something about this place that had made her fall in love with it immediately.

They'd arrived on Corfu the previous afternoon after an overnight ferry trip from Venice. They'd had a good couple of days in Venice (good being defined as no major arguments and no outbreaks of PTSD) and when House had, purely on a whim, chosen Greece as their next destination, she'd been willing to go along. Greece wasn't on her top list of places to see but if the opportunity was there, she wasn't going to turn it down. She'd worried a bit about the long ferry ride. After House's complaints about the train, she wasn't sure how he'd do being cooped up on a boat for almost a day. The trip hadn't been bad, though. Since they were both comfort whores, they'd splurged on getting an actual cabin so they'd have a bed to sleep in, and so House could have privacy if he needed it. Outside of their cabin, there were diversions on board to keep House reasonably entertained. As it turned out, she had the biggest problem with the journey and that had been sea-sickness. Or maybe it was another bad bout of morning sickness, or even a combination of both. Either way, it had made her miserable enough that she'd asked House for some of the anti-nausea medicine he'd brought. And yes, she'd felt guilty about taking it but it had done the trick.

She opened the balcony door a bit wider to feel the breeze. The sun was already warming the air for what promised to be another mild, sunny day. She glanced over her shoulder at the bed and her smile grew wider. House was still lying just as she'd left him. He looked so peaceful it seemed a shame to wake him. Not enough of a shame to stop her from doing it, though. She left the balcony door standing open and walked back to the bed. He only stirred a little when she slipped under the covers and moved close to him. Still smiling, she propped herself up on one arm and leaned over to press light kisses to his face, so light her lips barely touched his skin. He wrinkled up his face at that but still didn't wake. Curious as to how long he'd continue to sleep through the kisses, she moved down, placing more kisses across his chest. She made a trail of kisses along his collarbone, then nuzzled into his neck for a few more before flicking her tongue over his earlobe.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"You had help," Cuddy countered, waving her hand at the pail-shaped towers on his castle. "I had to do it alone."

She didn't really care about the sandcastles, never had other than it was a way to goof off. She was simply making conversation--simple conversation that didn't require much of her attention because her mind was still fixated on the questions Molly had stirred up.

She nodded when House got up and continued to stare out at the water. Was she going to have to make up excuses when House missed a birthday, or a recital, or life? That was the worst case scenario--House taking himself out of the picture, no relationship with her, no relationship with the child. Or did she not make excuses and tell the truth? No, definitely not that. The truth would be unnecessarily cruel to a child.

The truth was that she didn't want to have to consider that set of options. She didn't want House to take himself out of the picture. She wanted him involved in her day to day life, in their child's day to day life. So what she had to figure out was not how to deal with his absence but how to prevent him from being absent. At the moment, that seemed more difficult than planning to raise a child alone.

She pushed up and walked into the water, ducking under to wash the worst of the sand off. She grabbed her camera and headed back to their towels. She stretched out and basked under the sun. House was gone so long that by the time he returned, even her swimsuit was almost completely dry.

"Not exactly our deal," she said mildly. She opened the box and sniffed. Definitely not ice cream but it smelled good. She sat cross-legged and prepared to dig in. She hesitated and glanced over at him. She just couldn't let the earlier conversation go without comment.

"I don't want that to happen to our child. I don't want our child to feel unwanted." Cuddy started to say more, then shook her head and turned her attention to the food.

"Deal or no deal," House replied, handing a box down to her. "If it's no deal, I'm hungry enough to eat both, anyway."

He settled down beside her and opened the box to start tucking in straight away. Big enough breakfast though he'd had, playing around in the water and roasting in the sun and being confronted with things he didn't expect to find himself confronted with was all hungry work. Not to mention he wasn't too interested in conversation right now, because his mind was elsewhere and he was pretty sure, gathering from Cuddy's quietness, that her mind was the same.

Just as he scooped a bit of chicken and pasta up with his plastic fork to pop in his mouth, Cuddy proved him right with her remark. He halted for a beat, then shovelled the food in. As he chewed, he took particular interest in his surroundings, even though he'd seen it all a hundred times today already: kids playing, couples sunbaking, people splashing about in the water, seagulls swooping and scrounging for food.

He turned his attention down to his food for another forkful. "There's a lot of things I don't want," he replied. He sectioned off more chicken, scooped it up with pasta and put it into his mouth.

Like this baby. He'd spent a good portion of his time not wanting this baby. He didn't ask for it, he never planned for it to happen, he definitely never intended to ever have a child in his life. But even he was beginning to realise that not wanting it wasn't going to change or stop the inevitable from happening. Cuddy was going to have this kid, whether he liked it or not, and he didn't have a whole lot of options.

"You think I want this kid to feel unwanted?" he asked a little tersely, looking across at Cuddy.

Cuddy took a small bite of the pastitsada first to see if she liked it. She nodded to herself at the flavor and took another, bigger bite. She rolled her eyes when he said there were a lot of things he didn't want. She knew that, in general and about this baby in particular.

She immediately shook her head, though, at his question. "No, of course not. I didn't mean to imply that you want that. I was just...I don't know...making a statement of my position. Of what I want." She stabbed her fork at her food. "And yes, I know what I want isn't what you want. I know nothing's changed but sometimes I feel the need to state the obvious. Just in case there's any confusion."

She wasn't trying to be difficult. She really didn't know how else to approach the subject with him. At least, not a way that wouldn't make him angry. She knew this might make him angry, too, but she thought that maybe if she simply made the occasional statement of fact and then left it alone, it might prompt him to think, maybe even talk. And she needed to talk to him about this.

House stabbed at another piece of chicken while Cuddy talked, feeling... he wasn't sure what he was feeling. Cornered, definitely, particularly after their encounter with Molly. Impatient that Cuddy was bringing this up yet again. Confused. Worried. Very worried, in fact. He was reaching a realisation he'd been reaching for a while now. And it worried him. And scared him. Terrified him.

"Yeah, well, just so there's no confusion," House retorted shortly, looking across at Cuddy, "I'm well aware that nothing's changed."

He fell silent, focusing on eating his food. As he made his way through his meal he looked anywhere but at Cuddy, thoughts running and churning through his head like cogs. A big internal debate was going on inside him: one minute, he'd think about how much fatherhood really, truly scared him. All the things that could - and probably - would happen if he chose to stick around. Any possible way out of this. An escape route. Thinking about all of that brought back the uneasy memories of their first day in Paris, the fight they'd had, the way Cuddy had threatened to leave.

But then, the next minute, he'd suddenly remember the way Molly had said about her dad never being there, the way she'd become subdued when she said that her dad had forgotten her birthday, how both of those things reminded him of what Wilson had said: would House rather at least try to be a dad to his kid and be there, or would he rather neglect his responsibilities entirely? And then he'd be back to thinking about all the negatives all over again.

He was disappointed to realise he'd reached the end of his meal. Scraping up the last remaining crumbs and sauce with his fork, he tossed the cardboard box beside him as he chewed and licked his fingers. He drew his knees up and wrapped his arms loosely around them, and sighed while he stared out at the ocean.

"I don't want this kid to be unwanted," he said. "No kid deserves that. I don't want..."

He trailed off. What didn't he want? There were so many things he didn't want. He took a moment to try and organise his thoughts, try and get across what he wanted to say without causing Cuddy to get defensive, like she always did whenever they talked about this. Not that he was innocent of getting defensive, either.

"I don't want to do the wrong thing," he finally said, still without looking at her. "Knowingly or unknowingly, or..." He shook his head. "None of this was intentional. I know you didn't intentionally... you know. Fall pregnant. But that doesn't make knowing what the right thing to do is any easier."

Cuddy deliberately ignored House's sharply voiced agreement that nothing had changed. She was determined to stick to her plan of voicing her feelings in a simple statement and then letting the subject drop. She intended to stir those thoughts once in a while but otherwise leave them to simmer in his mind. He wasn't stupid, after all, nor was he evil. She had to trust he would eventually make the right choice. The right choice, of course, being what she wanted.

She concentrated on her meal for a while. Romping around in the water, the fresh air and warm sun had given her an appetite. And fortunately the morning sickness remained dormant which meant she could enjoy eating without the fear she'd bring it all back up. It was a fairly generous portion, though, so she'd only gotten a little more than half of it eaten before she began to feel full.

She glanced over when House spoke again, surprised that he was still talking about a subject she knew he didn't like to discuss. She listened carefully, though, trying to understand what the biggest obstacle was to getting him to accept the baby.

"It wasn't intentional," she agreed. "I didn't choose you to be the father of my baby...but I'm not sorry you are. I know you're going to get it wrong sometimes. I know I'm going to get it wrong sometimes. But I absolutely believe that you...that we can be good parents to this baby. If I didn't believe that, we wouldn't be sitting here having this discussion."

Even as Cuddy responded to what he'd said, House remained staring out at the sea. He hated this. He hated how anxious this whole thing made him feel. He hated knowing that there was no easy solution. He wasn't just faced with the issue of fatherhood. He was faced with the issue of his relationship with Cuddy. Whatever choice he made regarding this kid was going to affect his relationship with Cuddy. And he didn't want to lose her, he really didn't. He was afraid he just might, though, even if he did decide to be in the kid's life.

"It's not just about the kid," House replied. "It's about us, too." He turned his head to look at Cuddy. "What if we get it wrong? Us? Even if we were good parents, what if it's us that we can't get right?"

He looked away again and sighed. This really wasn't a thought he wanted to be contemplating. He was in this with Cuddy for the long haul. He wanted to wake each morning with her by his side. And if not by his side - because he had no plans of moving in with Cuddy, at least not yet - at least with the knowledge and assurance that she was his.

He shook his head again. "We've only been together two months. If that. Barely enough time to adjust to that, let alone having to adjust to the fact that you're baking a sprog." He snorted to himself. "First serious relationship I've had in years, and I barely get any time to enjoy it before it all dramatically changes."

Cuddy couldn't deny that she worried about them as well. Their relationship was volatile at the best of times. The added pressure of trying to make a romantic relationship work and throwing a baby into the mix only increased the likelihood that everything would blow up in their faces. She had to focus on the fact that despite all their ups and downs over the years, they'd stuck together. She had to focus on the positives.

"Personally, I find the fact we're going to have a baby makes it more enjoyable," she said, a bit sullen at the way he--once again--treated the pregnancy as a personal affront. No, she wouldn't have chosen to get pregnant so soon in their relationship. Given his attitude, she might never have chosen to get pregnant with him. But now that she was, she saw it as adding a dimension to the relationship, making it deeper. Making it more important because it wasn't just the two of them being affected by their decisions anymore. And she knew very well that wasn't the way he saw it.

She sighed and brushed her hand over her face, pushing away the stray curls. "I can't think about it the way you do. I just can't." She glanced over at him before looking out at the sea again. "I have to believe we can make a relationship work, that we can be good parents. Thinking only about how it can all go wrong just sucks all the joy out of it. And I want the joy."

House looked across at Cuddy incredulously. He didn't get how she would find having a baby with him enjoyable. It had been anything but enjoyable so far. And maybe it was different for her because she'd always wanted a baby, but he certainly didn't find any joy in the way this baby had come about. He'd never planned to have kids. He'd never intended to wind up in a relationship and end up a father. He couldn't help but think about the worst case scenarios. That was what experience had taught him - to expect the worst.

It had come up when he was with Stacy, the discussion of having kids, and while Stacy had expressed the occasional fantasy of being a mom, it was a mutual agreement that they didn't want kids. That had been the only time in his life he'd ever had to consider being a father, apart from the times his mother made not so subtle hints that she wished she could've been a grandmother. And now, here he was, sitting right next to the woman who was carrying his child.

"I want to believe we can make this work. You think I don't want that?" House argued. "You think I want to think about all the ways it could go wrong? That I like thinking about all the ways it could go wrong?" He stared into her eyes, searching them. "I think about those things because what we have matters. And I don't want to lose what matters."

"I know you want it to work," Cuddy said, returning his gaze. "But you focus on all the ways it might not. You're so busy anticipating the worst that you don't leave yourself open for the best."

She knew she did the same thing at times. She strongly suspected that was the reason some of her recent attempts at relationships hadn't worked out--because she subconsciously expected them to fail. Unlike House, though, she still tended to be optimistic. She still hoped for success even when she suspected failure was more likely.

She brushed her hand over her face again and rested it against her temple to stop the breeze from blowing stray curls over her face. "Have you ever considered there may be something of a self-fulfilling prophecy at work? That maybe you sabotage yourself because that way you prove you were right to expect the worst to begin with?"

She knew that was true. She knew he did his damndest to push every relationship to the breaking point because the failure of those relationships proved his cynical attitude was correct. She suspected everyone did that to a degree but House took it to the extreme. It was a fundamental difference in their personalities.

"I don't want to lose what matters either. That's why I have to believe it will work." She reached over to grasp his hand. "That's why I can't think about how it could go wrong. Because if I do, I'm afraid it will go wrong and I can't stand to think about losing this."

House peered at Cuddy for all of a few seconds as she gave her reasons for why she thought he sabotaged his own happiness, before looking away dismissively and a little defensively. Maybe there was an element of self-sabotaging that went on when it came to his own happiness. Who didn't self-sabotage in some way? He refused to think his misery in life was caused entirely by himself. He'd had a damn hard life, with a lot of hard lessons to learn, and life had thrown him a lot of hard curve balls. He didn't see any of those curve balls as his own acts of sabotage. And it therefore wasn't unreasonable for him to be constantly on guard towards life in general.

He looked back at Cuddy when she took his hand. He studied her eyes for a moment, then looked down at his hand in hers. He lightly ran his thumb along her thumb before returning his attention to staring at the ocean. "I'm no expert in raising kids, but I know having a kid changes everything," he said.

He looked back to Cuddy. "This kid isn't even born yet, and it's already changed everything. Ultimately, every decision we now make about us is influenced by this kid, whether I like it or not. Whether we stay together or not is going to be influenced by this kid. And that in turn will influence the kid's life itself. Everything we do or don't do is going to influence this kid's life."

He returned his gaze to the ocean. "I don't want to be a bad influence on this kid," he said after a small pause. "I don't want this kid growing up hating me as much as I hate my dad. But what's the right thing to do? Have as little influence as possible and hope it won't hate me for not being in its life? Or have a huge influence and run the risk of maybe being hated when it's old enough to realise how screwed up its parents are?"

"No," Cuddy said, shaking her head. "I mean yes, every decision we make will influence this child, but whether we stay together is purely our decision. We stay together because we love each other, not because we produced a child."

She believed it was usually better for families to stay together. She believed it was usually better for a child to have two parents in the home. But she also acknowledged the reality that sometimes it was a bad decision for two people to stay together, for them and for their children. Sometimes everyone was happier if they weren't together. It wasn't the ideal situation but sometimes it was the best one.

"You know what my answer to that is--I think you should be an influence. Just do the best you can and be there," she said. She'd said that often enough that she knew he understood her position. She wasn't sure he knew how strongly she felt about it, though, so she added, "Maybe you don't realize, though, that even if we didn't stay together, I'd still want you to be part of this kid's life."

She leaned in, bumping her shoulder against his. "I know you need to work this out in your own head and make the decision you believe is right. I just wish I knew how to convince you that you can love a child and it can love you just as much as I do."

House sighed, feeling a little dazed and bewildered. Maybe it was simply because it was still fresh in his mind the way Molly had raised all these thoughts and issues, but House couldn't get past the fact that one little, innocent little girl, completely ignorant of his own situation, could single-handedly... well, provide all the answers for him that he'd been struggling with - or against - these past few weeks. Maybe that would all change once Molly faded to the back of his mind and became little more than a memory. Or maybe... it wouldn't. This was definitely the most he'd ever talked about this issue, without feeling a huge need to duck for cover.

He let his head fall back, peering up at the sky with his eyes squinted against the sun. He felt so torn right now. He felt torn between his own worries about this whole thing, and what Cuddy was saying. He felt torn between wanting to run as far away from this kid as his bum leg could take him, and wanting to do the right thing. And the worst part was, acceptance though he kind of had reached now, who knew what he'd be thinking or feeling in the next 24 hours.

His whole body swayed slightly as Cuddy nudged him and he levelled his head again to look once more at the ocean. He just shrugged at what Cuddy suggested because what else could he really say? 'Yes, I agree'? 'No, I disagree'? He couldn't really argue either way, not in the state of mind he was about it right now. He didn't even want to argue about it. He was in way too much of a contemplative mood to even muster the energy. That and the hot sun was zapping the energy right out of him.

With that last thought in mind, he turned his head and looked at Cuddy. "Wanna make a move? I can already feel myself starting to burn, and I'm not interested in doing a cooked lobster impression for the rest of our vacation."

When House responded to her last comment with a complete non-sequitur, Cuddy opened her mouth to press the issue. Then she simply let out a sigh as she stared at him. He'd actually talked to her. He'd discussed the subject more than he ever had before and without getting angry. She was sure if she continued to push it, he would get angry and that would undo whatever good this discussion had done.

She wanted to settle things once and for all. She hated this uncertain feeling. She hated not being able to plan for the future. She hated not knowing whether he'd be part of that future. But since the last thing she wanted to do was take a step backwards, she forced herself to drop the subject.

"Okay," she said. "How about we get cleaned up and just go wander around for a while? See what else there is to see?"

She gathered up her things, shoving her camera and the sunblock back in her bag. She stood up and pulled on her blouse. She didn't like the way it felt when she pulled clothes on over skin that was sticky with sweat and sunblock. And the sand--she could never get all the sand brushed off. But icky as the clothes felt, there was no way she was walking back to the hotel in nothing but a bikini.

She leaned over to grab her skirt and grinned at him, remembering Molly's protest. "Or if you need to take a nap, that's okay, too."

Thinking Cuddy would argue with him, he fully expected her to demand that wasn't the end of the conversation. After all the fights they'd had over this topic, fighting was all he ever expected anything to degrade to when it came to this. When Cuddy did nothing of the sort except agree with his suggestion of leaving, he looked at her in surprise, watching her stand up and shake the sand from her body, and dress.

He relaxed at her grin, though. "Actually, nap was exactly what I was thinking," he replied. "Pretty sure Corfu has a nightlife. Doubt we'll be missing much if waste a couple of hours sleeping."

He got to his feet and likewise dusted as much sand from himself as he could. He sure hoped he wasn't going to end up too burned; his shoulders felt considerably hot, as well as his back and chest. This was the first time in a long time he'd had this much exposure to sun, especially sun this hot and fierce. Once he was dressed, he slipped his sunglasses back on and held his hand out for Cuddy to take.

"Let's go and be boring, and nap," he said. "Or if you don't like that plan, I'll go and be boring and nap. Then wake up later and be interesting."

"A little swimming, a little sandcastle building, and you need a nap? We need to work on your stamina," Cuddy teased.

She wasn't opposed to the idea of a rest. Her own stamina had been a little lacking recently and a nap might be a good idea. And if she wasn't tired enough to sleep, she could always pull out her laptop and catch up on her email. Whether she took a nap or not, though, she couldn't pass up the opportunity to tease House.

She finished pulling on her skirt--which still wouldn't zip all the way up--and slung her bag over her shoulder. She took his hand and they made their way slowly over the uneven sand. The going got a bit easier once they were back on solid ground but halfway back to the hotel, Cuddy found herself feeling a little light-headed. It could be that her stamina wasn't any better than House's but she suspected it was mostly due to running around in the intense sun and heat.

"I'm going to grab a drink," she said, nodding at a little tourist shop that sold snacks and drinks as well as souvenirs. "You want something, too?"

"I'm getting old," he played along. House didn't like the fact that he was getting older. But it was true. He had a lot of stamina for a lot of things, but nothing like he did twenty years ago. And all the sun he'd gotten today was enough to make anyone who wasn't used to this much sun, fatigued.

Working his way up the sand seemed much harder of a task than getting down on it was. Probably due to the fact that he had to go up and incline rather than down onto the sand, and he struggled with keeping his balance, tightening his hand on Cuddy's every time he had to put more strain on his bad leg to make the next step. He sweating again by the time they reached the safety of flat, solid ground.

"Whatever you're having," he agreed, wiping his forearm across his forehead. "As long as it's not something gross like iced tea."

He took refuge in the shade as he waited for Cuddy, leaning back against the wall and watching people passing by. The conversation he'd had with Cuddy, along with Molly, played over in his mind. He began to think hypothetically: this time next year, he thought to himself, he'd be a father to a little baby. For a moment, he just tried to imagine what that would be like, what it would look like, what it would feel like. Would he feel proud, if he let himself be? Or would he want to turn and run? He dropped his head back to the brick wall and stared absently across the street. He thought hard about it for a moment, and he honestly couldn't imagine how it would feel. How it would look. What it would be like to actually hold his own child. Because this isn't a role he ever imagined himself being in.

He turned his head when he saw Cuddy emerge from the shop, and pushed away from the wall. He hooked his cane over his arm and took his drink in one hand, then before anything else, he reached his other arm up around Cuddy's shoulders and pulled her close. He dropped a soft kiss to her lips, a lingering and meaningful one, wanting to just assure that he did love her. He loved her like nothing else in this world.

He pulled back just enough to lift his chin and placed a kiss to her forehead, stroking the side of her neck with his thumb, then he dropped his arm away and took her hand. "You do know I'm crazy about you, right?" he asked as they continued down the street, but asked in a way that made it sound like he making a teasing flirting game of it rather than being serious.

Cuddy felt worse when she entered the shop. It was cramped and crowded and hot and she started fanning herself with her hand so she wouldn't pass out. She grabbed a soda for House and a flavored water for herself, and she drained a third of the slender bottle while she was still waiting for her change.

Getting back outside felt better. The sun was still hot but at least there was air to breath. The water had helped, too. She hadn't realized how thirsty she'd gotten playing around on the beach. She glanced around until she saw House approaching from the side. She stepped toward him to hand him his drink and found herself being pulled into a kiss.

His move caught her off guard and she clutched the front of his shirt in her hand to steady herself. Well, if something was going to make her light-headed, this was about the best way she could think of. She returned the kiss, slow and gentle, and looked up at him when he pulled back wondering what had prompted the sudden burst of affection. Not that she was complaining, of course.

"I know you're crazy at least," she said, smiling. His moods confused her sometimes. He could go from pensive to angry to playful in the blink of an eye and she never could quite anticipate the next mood shift. His thoughts would go in directions she wasn't expecting and those thoughts would make him say or do something she wasn't expecting. It certainly kept things interesting to say the very least.

"You'd have to be crazy to get involved with an evil woman like me," she said as they strolled slowly back to the hotel. She was teasing but there was also an element of truth to it. Given how often she annoyed and frustrated him, he'd have to be a little off-center to get more deeply involved. Thank god he'd always been more than a little off-center.

"Of course, I've always suspected you like evil," she continued in a light tone. "In fact, it's possible that I've been evil in order to attract your attention. It's possible I've been engaging you in foreplay for years and you just never noticed."

"And you're not?" House countered. He returned the smile, just a faint upturn at the corners of his lips. Then, when she asserted that he had to be crazy to get involved with her, he replied, "And you'd have to be crazy to get involved with an evil bastard like me."

It was true. Cuddy was level-headed in a lot of areas in her life, except her love life. Her love life was the opposite of everything she'd strived for professionally. Her love life didn't really have order or goals or structure the way her work life did, it never had, and it especially didn't now that House was a part of that. He knew he was the polar opposite to Cuddy in a number of ways, sometimes deliberately so, and he knew he frustrated the hell out of her, made her angry, made her upset, even made her cry at times. Yet she loved him. She couldn't exactly be innocent of being crazy, either.

He sipped his drink, almost half the drink gone by the time he pulled it away from his mouth, and he licked his lips and then wiped them with the back of his hand. He listened, amused at what Cuddy was saying. Maybe their talk earlier down on the beach was the very thing they'd needed because even though they didn't talk too much about the subject of the baby, House had definitely honestly about it, as honestly as he'd ever had. It now felt to him as though the air had been cleared and a little weight lifted off his shoulders. For now, at least.

"Hmmm," he replied, pretending to sound unimpressed by the news of Cuddy's nefarious ploys. He took another sip of his drink. "So, does this mean you spent all those years playing cat and mouse, the same way a cat toys with a mouse before finally pouncing on it? Or by 'attract' and 'attention' do you mean you've been wanting me for years?"

He met Cuddy's gaze. "And for the record, evil is more fun. Especially when it wears short, tight skirts and 'Do me' pumps."

"What else would evil wear?" Cuddy asked as they reached the entrance to the hotel. "Evil needs to hook you and reel you in before you realize it is evil. No better way to fake a guy out than with a tight skirt and high heels."

Cuddy drained the rest of her water as they crossed the lobby and waited for the elevator. Had she wanted him for years? She honestly didn't know. As recently as six months ago she would've said no but she wasn't sure she hadn't been in denial. If, subconsciously, she had wanted him, denial would've been a good choice because House hadn't been available. Not just because of Stacy either. Even when he hadn't been with her, he'd been unavailable to a relationship. There would've been no point in pining for him.

"I wanted your respect," she admitted as they got on the elevator. That was true and since she couldn't match him in intellect, she'd matched him in conversation. She'd taken every rude or lewd or even flirtatious comment he'd thrown at her and dished it right back to him. It wasn't the same as respecting her for her medical skills but it was better than nothing.

"The flirting was just for fun. There was no ultimate goal," she said, glancing at him. "At least, I wasn't aware of any other goal."

"That's what's otherwise known as a kind of succubus," House replied, trailing into the lobby after Cuddy. "I always knew you weren't safe. Good thing I like adrenalin rushes."

Cuddy really wasn't as bad as House liked to make her out to be. She wasn't really evil... most of the time. As for being safe, though... Well, she wasn't really safe, not with the way he'd fallen for her and the way she'd come to mean more to him than anything else in his life. That definitely wasn't safe. She wasn't a safe choice, and several months ago he wouldn't have dared make the choice he'd made now. He wouldn't have dared because the thought of coming into a relationship with her had been a terrifying one, a thought he'd been even too scared to address to himself because he hadn't wanted to make himself vulnerable to anybody again.

He looked down at Cuddy curiously at what she said next, as he reached for the button for their floor. While Cuddy had her moments of faltering, she'd always come across to him as strong and capable and determined, and it hadn't much crossed his mind that she would vie for his respect. Respect was definitely something he didn't give easily or cheaply to anybody, but Cuddy had always stood out to him from the rest, the same way Stacy had. She'd forced him to take note of who she was, where she stood, what she believed in. He'd always held Cuddy in regard for that, even if he hadn't thought as much of her medical skills at times.

He stood beside her, hands resting on his cane and his towel slung over his shoulder. "Fun is a goal. When you think about it." He looked down at her again. "You wanted someone fun in your life. And I'm loads of fun. And if I'm not fun, then at least I'm having fun at your expense." He nudged her with his elbow. "We both know you can never resist a challenge."

"Well, as long as someone's having fun," Cuddy said, very pointedly rolling her eyes at him. She didn't always mind when he had fun at her expense. If he was genuinely just having fun she could usually brush it off, even enjoy watching him have fun. It was certainly better than the way he sometimes shared his misery.

"There's a difference between the challenges I choose to meet and the ones that I'm forced to meet. The latter aren't nearly as fun as the former." As the elevator arrived at their floor, she shifted the strap of her bag higher on her shoulder before it could slip off and then started down the hall. As soon as he'd opened their door, she stepped into the room, kicked off her shoes and dumped her bag on the floor.

"For example," she said. She smiled because she wasn't criticizing him...exactly. It was huge pain in the ass to deal with his messes but he wasn't going to change and she'd long ago decided he was worth the trouble of dealing with his messes. "Fighting my way to being Dean--difficult but satisfying. Keeping your ornery ass out of trouble--also difficult but not so satisfying."

While she was talking she'd been stripping out of her clothes, dumping them on the floor as well. She was down to wearing just her bikini, and a whole lot of sand. She reached behind her to untie her top as she turned to walk to the bathroom. "I have to shower, otherwise this sand is going to drive me nuts."

"You just don't think it's fun because you hate being the submissive," House shot back lightly. As she headed out of the elevator he added in a louder voice, "I already told you the initials for Dean Of Medicine spell 'Dom' for a reason, right?"

He headed out after her, fishing into his pockets for the room key. Once he opened the door and stepped inside, he dropped his towel down beside Cuddy's bag as he closed the door, watching her instantly take to stripping. "Whereas getting my ornery ass into bed - that's more than satisfying," he countered. Then he admitted, "Albeit not especially difficult. Good way to keep me out of trouble, though. Keeps me occupied. Makes me compliant. Most of the time."

He stopped what he was saying to check Cuddy out in her bikini. "You should wear that more often," he remarked. "You know. For gratification's sake."

While she headed off to the bathroom and announced she was going to shower, House toed his shoes off, pulling a face at the gritty sand scratching between his toes and stuck to his sweaty feet. He left his cane by the door and limped across to the room, pulling his shirt off over his head and dropping it on the floor along the way. Reaching the bathroom, he moved straight across to the toilet while Cuddy started the water. He peed, flushed, then stripped off his swim trunks and left them in a puddle by Cuddy's bikini bottoms.

"Room for one more?" he asked, though he stepped right in without really waiting for an answer. "You tan fast," he observed, noting that despite the suncream Cuddy had applied, a faint bikini-shaped tan line had already formed around her breasts and up her chest where the straps had been.

"Yeah, if only I could keep you in bed all the time--that would solve all my problems."

If only that were true. Obviously she couldn't keep him in bed literally all the time but even if she could, he wasn't that easily distracted. Not for long. Sooner or later she was sure he'd find some new way to cause trouble. Of course, he probably thought time in bed had caused more trouble than anything else he could've done because of the baby, but she didn't want to go down that path of thought. Especially since they had talked a little about it.

As soon as she got in the shower she ducked her head under the spray to wash the sand and sea water out of her hair. When House joined her, she pushed her hair back and blinked at the water drops that trickled down her forehead. She glanced down at her chest at his comment and nodded. Her summer tan had mostly faded so the difference was noticeable even though it wasn't significant.

"Too bad it wasn't a topless beach," she said, arching an eyebrow. She frowned then as she looked up at him. "And you burn fast." She reached up and pressed her fingers lightly against the top of his shoulders. They didn't look like they were actually burned, more of a light pink, but it was probably a good thing they hadn't stayed on the beach any longer.

She slid both arms around his shoulders then and stretched up on her toes for a kiss. "It was nice, though," she said quietly. "I haven't played around at a beach for a long time. Haven't built a sandcastle in longer than that." She chuckled. "Of course, I didn't quite build one today either."

"Yeah, too bad," House agreed mock seriously. Too bad indeed. Though, if Cuddy's reaction to him checking that woman out was anything to go by, he'd have probably got more than just a scolding if they'd been on a topless beach.

His attention drawn to his shoulders, he peered down at the one Cuddy touched and frowned. It did look a bit pink, bordering on red. He turned down to his chest and noticed that looked a bit pink, too. His back probably looked the same. "Been a while since I've been on a beach," he pointed out. "Been an even longer while since I've been in Mediterranean sun."

He was checking his other shoulder out as Cuddy drew her arms up around him, and he looked down at her, closing his eyes as they kissed. He looped his arms around her waist and held her close to him. He kept that grip on her even once the kiss ended.

"Yeah, your shapeless mound was very impressive," he teased.

He then sighed. Despite the few ups and downs, despite the small arguments and Molly and the conversation that had followed, it had been nice. He leaned back in and kissed her, just a few light, barely there kisses while he looked into her eyes. The kiss didn't really deepen; it was more like a quiet moment of just communicating without saying anything. He eventually pulled back from the kiss and settled into an easy embrace, his chin resting on her shoulder. The feel of Cuddy's naked body, wet and soft up against his while water ran over and between them was a starkly intimate feeling. It made House that much more aware of his own skin and nakedness and of the contours of Cuddy's body.

He wasn't sure why, but sometimes he was struck with a sudden realisation that he belonged to someone again. He had someone in his life who loved him more than he sometimes felt he deserved. Someone who had known him for practically half his life, someone who knew him better than almost anyone else. Sometimes, those unexpected realisations took hold of him by surprise, like it had right now. He'd spent so many years alone and lonely and hurting that this thing he had with Cuddy was something he knew he didn't take for granted. It was like a moment of clarity of how much he actually appreciated having Cuddy be a part of his life, a part of him.

"I love you," he said quietly.

"You won't find shapeless mounds that good just anywhere," she agreed. It was a shame she hadn't had the opportunity to test her sandcastle building skills further--and gotten the chance to beat House--but their time at the beach had gone well. Despite a few hiccups, she wouldn't change the day.

She smiled against his skin as they settled into an embrace, her arms wrapped lightly around his shoulders. She loved these moments when they could simply be together, when they didn't need to say a word. This relationship was so far from what she'd always expected. Dealing with House, with the pregnancy, it was so chaotic and surprising and not at all what she'd planned for. And she was happy. When it came right down to it, she didn't need the things she'd thought she needed. All that really mattered was loving him and being loved in return.

She settled back flat on her feet because her legs got tired of stretching to match his height. She started to rest her head against his chest but looked up when he spoke.

"I know." She reached up and brushed her fingers over his cheek. "I love you, too."

She leaned in for another lingering kiss. Then she pulled back slightly to reach for the soap. She handed it to him and started to quickly wash the last of the sand and lotion and sweat from her body. "Last one out of the shower has to buy supper."

Morning, October 26, Corfu

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)